Posts Tagged ‘Jesus’

The Bible According to Kids

December 30, 2008

The following statements about the Bible were written by children and have not been retouched or corrected (i.e., bad spelling has been left in.)

In the first book of the Bible, Guinesses, God got tired of creating the world, so he took the Sabbath off.

Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree.

Noah’s wife was called Joan of Ark because Noah built the ark, which the animals came to in pears.

Lot’s wife was a pillar of salt by day, but a ball of fire by night.

Samson was a strong man who let himself be led astray by a Jezebel like Delilah.

Samson slew the Philistines with the axe of the Apostles.

Moses led the Hebrews to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread, which is bread without any ingredients.

The Egyptians were all drowned in the dessert.

Afterwards, Moses went up to Mount Cyanide to find the ten amendments.

The first commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple.

Moses died before he ever reached Canada.

Then Joshua led the Hebrews in the battle of Geritol.

The greatest miracle in the Bible is when Joshua told his son to stand still and he obeyed him.

David was a Hebrew king skilled at playing the liar. He fought with the Finkelsteins, a race of people who lived in Biblical times.

Solomon, one of David’s sons, had 300 wives and 700 porcupines.

When Mary heard that she was the mother of Jesus, she sang the Magna Carta.

Then the three Wise Guys from the east arrived and found Jesus in the manager.

Jesus was born because Mary had an Immaculate Contraption.

St. John, the blacksmith, dumped water on his head.

Jesus enunciated the Golden Rule, which says do one to others before they do one to you.

He also explained that “Man does not live by sweat alone”.

It was a miricle when Jesus rose from the dead and managed to get the tombstone off the entrance.

The people who followed Jesus were called the 12 decibles.

The epistles were the wives of the apostles.

One of the opossums was St. Matthew who was also a taximan.

St. Paul cavorted to Christianity. He preached the holy acrimony, which is another name for marriage.

A Christian should have only one spouse. This is called monotony.


Success According to Jesus

April 1, 2008

Was Jesus successful during his time on earth? This may seem an unusual question.  It naturally depends on one’s definition of success is.  In the eyes of the world success could mean :-1.  Financial Wealth

2.  High Status and Recognition in Society

3.  Loving Marriage and children

4.  Ability to enjoy the things in life eg. relaxing holidays,  trips to exotic locations,  lovely restaurants,  sporting or artisitic pursuits.

5.  Feeling of Happiness

6.  Loving friends and family for quality fellowship and support

7.  Beauty and Good Health

There can be other elements that would include success in our modern age.  However these would probably be the main ones  people would look for to guage  if a person is a “success”  in our world today. 

By our worldly standards was Jesus a success? Let’s take a closer look:-

1.  Financial Wealth: he did not seem to possess financial wealth.  His chosen trade was a carpenter which probably would have earned him a modest living able to supply his needs.  During his three years in full time ministry, he  probably received financial support from specific followers.  He also stayed at people’s houses as he travelled and visitied different towns.

2.  High Status and Recognition: Jesus attracted many followers who were searching for spiritual truth.  However he was despised by the  leaders of the Jewish order and eventually condemned by all the governing authorities of the day.  He always seemed to face some form of persecution for his teaching.

3. Marriage and Children: Because God had a special mission for Jesus on this earth he remained single in order to devote his whole life and soul to God’s appointed task.

4. Enjoyment of Life : Since Jesus only had three years in full time ministry, it is unlikely that he took any extensive holiday time to relax.  However he did attend weddings and feasts and probably knew how to enjoy celebrations with friends and family.  John 2

5. Feeling Happy: Jesus would have always had the feeling of peace and oneness with His Heavenly Father since he was sinless and always completely obedient to His Father’s will.  However I don’t know that he was always “happy” in a worldly sense.  After all he knew that his death and crucifixion lay looming ahead of him.  Luke 22:44.  In Isaiah 53:3 it also says ” He was despised and rejected by men,  a man of sorrows and familiar with suffering.  Like one from whom men hid their faces,  he was despised and we esteemed him not”.

6. Loving Friends and Family:  Jesus had a supportive family who helped to raise him in a godly household. He also became very close to the 12 disciples during his life on earth.  He ministered and discipled them so that one day they could spread the gospel message of salvation throughout the biblical world.  However he also experienced the pain of betrayal by one of his friends close to him within this inner circle, namely Judas.

7.  Beauty: In terms of beauty Isaiah 53:2 tells us ” He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him,  nothing in his appearance that we should desire him.”  From this passage it would suggest that Jesus may not have been an impressive handsome character by the world’s standards.

At the end of his life  the Jewish leaders of the religious order and all the governing authorities  condemned him to death by crucifixion for speaking the gospel truth.  It would seem that he was losing in the eyes of the world and could have been branded as a failure

However through heavens’ eyes he was accomplishing a magnificent and incredible victory in the spiritual realm.  Evangelical Christians all over the world celebrate the ensuing triumph that was ultimately achieved.

Jesus paid the  penalty for the sins of all mankind in the present ,  past and the future.He rose from the dead, since he was sinless and therefore death could not hold him down forever. Through this act, he enabled a full pardon and forgiveness for all our sins, fellowship with Himself , and eternal salvation for our souls .  To top it all off, it gave us  the promise of eternal life in heavenly paradise when we leave this earth. This gift is offered to all people who wish to actively accept Jesus into their hearts and follow him with their lives.  Due to Jesus selfless life and obedience, he was then elevated to the highest place in heaven to sit at the right hand of God. Romans 8:34.

Therefore we can see that although Jesus did not appear to be successful in a worldly sense, he accomplished a huge victory in the spiritual realm which is a win that will last for eternity.

It also goes to show, that sometimes,  things are not always as they seem.

By Adelle Arwen
Gospel Singer Songwriter & Recording Artist

Heaven Our Real Home

April 1, 2008

 I have recently started on a Study Guide called ” Heaven Your Real Home”  by Joni Eareckson Tada.  I was given this book a a few years ago when she came to Australia to speak during the Para Olympics.  In one section of the book it discusses the bible passage about the New Jerusalem from the book of Revelation chapter 21.  It contains  one of the verses I love which describes an aspect of heaven :” And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, ‘Now the dwelling of God is with men,  and he will live with them.  They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God.  He will wipe every tear from their eyes.  There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain,  for the old order of things has passed away’ “.   Revelation 21: 3-4

I have always thought that it would be a true utopia to have a world with no more sorrow crying or pain.   Although the Bible does not specify in exact detail what heaven will be like from these verses it could strongly suggest the following :-

There would be no more sickness, cancer or terminal illnesses and the suffering that can go with these

There will be no more mourning over the death of loved ones through accidents war, sickness,

or bombs

No more murder, rape,  torture,  bloodshed,  child abuse,  work place bullying or suicides

No more divorce separation abandoned children

No more poverty or racism

No more oppression injustice or discrimination

No more struggle disappointment or depression

No more sorrow pain or tears

No more watching the 6 o’clock news and hearing all the bad news that has happened nationally or internationally

No more worrying about putting on weight and eating too much since we will have new heavenly bodies.

Such a world is worth waiting to see and experience don’t you think?

Here are a few more points I have discovered in my Quiet Time readings about what Heaven will be like .   Jesus followers will have:-

New Bodies :  Philippians 3: 20-21  

New Minds:  1 John 3:2  and

New Hearts:  In other words ,  if we have chosen Jesus on this earth, we will be totally renewed in body mind and spirit.  We will be purified and perfected and  also realise our true identity even more so, just as God intended for  us  in the beginning.

Also in Isaiah 65:17 it states that the site and presence of our Lord Jesus in our new heavenly home will be so glorious and brilliant, that there will be no need to recall the former life with it’s positive or negative elements. 

“Behold, I will create new heavens and a new earth.  The former things will not be remembered,  nor will they come to mind.  But be glad and rejoice forever in what I will create.  Isaiah 65:17.  See also 1 Corinthians 15: 50-58 which describes how through Jesus, his followers, in a flash, will change from being mortal to immortal.

It is good to be thankful for all the blessings God has given to us on this earth ,  including the gift of His Son Jesus to be the Saviour of our souls.  In his love and generosity He also offers us a life of eternal joy with Himself in Heaven, where the best is still yet to come.  This is also a great cause for celebration .

Will you be there to share this with us? ………………. I hope so.  

By Adelle Arwen
Gospel Singer Songwriter & Recording Artist